I was really inspired to write something here after reading (maybe stalking) someone's blog. I really admire a sensitive guy, one who recognises his feelings and isn't ashamed to tell the world about it. i'm hoping blogging's gonna be good for me. that i'm gonna start reflecting and pondering about stuff, instead of just accepting everything at face value, instead of getting really happy over the silliest of things(which i have done alot of recently). i think it's about time i matured. and heck, come 16 august i'm gonna be on a laptop night and day, might as well! so, i guess for now, what i'm saying is this blog's ain't dead yet..

LLJ;
11:26 PM;

hello blog(:

you look so retarded.
i shall impart some words of wisdom in the weeks to come so that you'll look better.

regards,
L

LLJ;
10:09 PM;

my blog comes in handy for my random thoughts like these, although im not sure anyone still reads it, its kinda cathartic.

no more cheesy stuff about 810, im happy to say that i have gotten over it. it wasnt short lived like all my other phases okay! it was nice while it lasted and made these past (how many?) months or almost the whole year so much better. the girl you've got your eyes on is one lucky one.

feel kinda lonely now. one more paper to go and i can't wait to meet up with friends and stuff. but what im really mean is that i just cant help feeling that so many of my relationships are superficial. and thats partly, perhaps mostly my fault. dont get me wrong, i have really good friends who i have a last hanging out with but i havent really got a best friend. someone who's always there, who listens even to the most random of thoughts. someone whom im not afraid to msg cos im sure he/she would be interested in what i've gotta say. thats one of my biggest regrets coming out of jc, that i've lived these years with all my thoughts kept to myself cos of it.

anw, you guys should all check out kris allen's apperance on ellen, solid performance plus his interview. he is sooooo sweet, especially when he talks about his wife! gees, i want my own kris allen haha.

and yes, you shd catch adam lambert's infamous AMA performance, esp if you wanna get horny. hmmmm. haha them both are awesome. im watching reruns of american idol and its so funny watching them from before people knew they were real contenders. im back to my stalking-adam-and-kris days, oh no!

LLJ;
9:37 PM;

the brazilian grand prix was one heck of an eventful race. i was so fuming mad aft the race, luckily for you i'm okay now, and i shall blog rationally.

qualifying was crazy. i felt really afraid for giancarlo fisichella, he just doesnt look confident with the car and its handling, and to drive it in such horrendrous conditions.. poor control and visibility, yup i was scared. somemore he was one of the earlier ones out. it was as if i knew something was going to happen..for he brought out the red flag. poor guy.

kimi looked awesome in the wet and set some really good times in q1 and q2 but then by the end of q3 the car just didnt have the pace. good drive anyway! with a tough car and tough conditions. ohh and i felt really bad for vettel too, he looked so pissed and upset, understandably. (and then i thought of rachel hehe)

raceday. humph. good start off the line by kimi and his kers. as usual going outside but then not getting much room from the cars in front. nice work getting to third place and challenging webber for second BUT THEN. !@#$%^webber of course wouldnt let him through, there was contact and a broken front wing. GRRRR. (might have had contact with the force india earlier too) at the back heikki kovaleinen, dont know what he did with his car, almost took fisi out. good save from fisi who took a long detour on the grass. luckily you didn take him out, as if he wasnt struggling as it was with the f60! GRRR.

AND THEN, it gets worse. both kimi and heikki head to the pit lane. the ferrari is on its way out. the mcclaren obviously kanchiong or what leaves his pit before the refuelling nozzle is out, and comes just in front of kimi. and its not like when massa did it in spore last year, the refuelling nozzle was spraying(yes, spraying) fuel all over poor kimi. not on kimi's car, on kimi! and then BOOMZ(heh), kimi was ON FIRE. literally. my dad was like woah, this is like hollywood. ohman i was sooo scared for him! lucky i didnt watch it live, i knew he was okay. bt WHAT THE HECK! you wanna kill him ahhh? heikki doesnt even get a drive thru until after the race, 25 secs just gets added to his timing(rolls my eyes).

so yes, my anger aside the race continues. ntg spectacular frm the ferraris. in my mind i curse everytime they say what a wonderful race webber is driving. it might not have been as simple if kimi was up there next to you okay!! he had such a good chance of a podium finish!

the iceman as always is unfazed by everything, including fire, and takes his car home in 6th. fisi drives home safely in 12th?

there was much more drama except i was too fixated on what happened to kimi. humph. ooh i must say i was rather bumped for rubens. he could have done so much better. although his wasnt a very good strategy, i must say. and he was sooo unlucky to have his tyre punctured. poor poor thing, in his home grand prix. even drg his time at ferrari he was always overshadowed. but he's such a nice guy still.

ermm. oh, congrats to button! not much of a supporter, but hey, a better british champion than you-knw-who. down to earth and witty and kinda hot, the things he said on the pit radio were hilarious! and honda's stand in driver for glock, kobayashi was sooo awesome. really bold of him how he defended against all the other drivers on his debut. not like glock who let hamilton thru on the last corners of the last lap last year to win the championship.

yeah i was reminded of what happened last year with massa. how so very very very tragic. poor dude, he. so even though im upset your driving next year and not kimi, i'll support you all the way! can't wait til you get back on your feet!(or car)
next season next season! (i need to warm up to alonso for now)

aye, i wish i could speak to the ferrari drivers lol i'd tell them:
kimi, i hope you're okay and not burnt. sorry that the filming and commentry people dont wanna report abt you as much, even when you caught fire. you're still a ferrari driver up til the last race, so continue to push hard and show them people!
and fisi, i knw you're having a tough time trying to prove yourself. dont be discouraged! and dont be so unhappy, i knw you wanna try your best. and in all fairness you've finished the last few races, not like you crashed or anything. continue to push, one last race c'mon!

supporting the prancing horse all the way!

LLJ;
11:08 AM;

im here without you baby
but you're still on my lonely mind


today was farewell assembly oh boy despite any negative stuff thats happened these two years, i do love vj! it's the awesomest ever. which other school has such crazy teachers and students and principal, really. and i do love my class. very much. especially my girls((: gonna miss our conversations bout random stuff.

regrets? many. many many. oh man dont go there.

but still. really glad to have been in vj, s66 and dance! you all made me really happy today.

im in too soapy a mood to be typing anything constructive right now. i missed peiying the moment i left school. humph, wish i could talk to her for just abit. so many things i wanna tell her and i want her to tell me. i love her very very much.

and it's gonna take me a few hours (i hope that would suffice) to stop thinking about 810. to stop picturing that moment this morning when i tried to look at him but he rightfully looked downwards to give us privacy so he wouldnt interrupt the thing that i was doing. for the last time this morning i looked up to see you walking in..

had ice cream with lauretta just now, but apparently it wasnt strong enough a comfort food. oh and mum bought me a bag. retail therapy.

ohwell guess i need to go study now.

LLJ;
5:08 PM;

a thousand days, a thousand nights are not enough
cos i can't hold back the way i feel about my love

i wish there was a device that could read my mind and blog out exactly how im feeling right now, cos i really dont know.

damnit, other people have things to do and need to study too la okay. they might even have more things to do than you do. and bloody hell this is not how i wanna be feeling right now. but then i might just be angry with myself for not being able to do anything about you. arggghhh! its so frustrating when you're feeling like this and you can't express yourself and even if you could no one would be willing to listen cos everyone's just too caught up with their own stuff to give a damn, or maybe just cos you're a loner. and it doesnt help when you keep thinking bout certain people and hoping this were grey's anatomy and you could just start making out in the elevator, or stairs. damnit!

LLJ;
11:17 AM;

qualifying last? oh man finishing 17th position? seriously? getting passed on the way out of the pitlane? oh my gosh really? drive thru penalty for crossing the pitlane line? ahhhh, you sure?! i only watched the highlights but omg, are you kidding? the thing is, its not like you had any major issues with your car to finish last and be lapped! c'mon, no matter how bad you are, the car couldnt have been THAT bad? im sure it had the capacity to at least push you further up the grid, no? i imagine the anguish and disappointment and REGRET of michael schumacher having to watch all that from the pitwall.. dear luca badoer, REALLY?? im sure you're beeter than that.

im abit too disgraced to feel any remote happiness for kimi raikkonen. it was yet another not bad finish for kimi. good considering his car, and starting from sixth place, but still not good enough. not where they'd ideally like to be.

really pleased for rubens barrichello too, great guy, he((: really sensitive, caring, friendly, NICE guy who deserves it. sighs i was humming the tune of his brazilian national anthem, and when it ended, i instinctively continued with the italian national anthem for ferrari, only to be brought back down to earth by God save the queen for brawn.. ahh yes, those were the days, schumi and rubeno!

of cos, his win was at the expense of hamilton who was obviously trying to disguise his disappointment. ermmm. cant say i emphatise with him. sorry.

i really hope there's improvement for next week's race. and for the ones after, monza their home race, and singapore my home race hehe. c'mon guys!

LLJ;
10:31 AM;

nothing much..

but omg you're fascinating. you make me smile to myself, and you make me scream on the inside cos i cant scream out loud. i miss half smiling and half waving to you. damnit, i wish i could see you now. and i wish you could see me too.

LLJ;
8:45 PM;

MICHAEL SCHUMACHER!! ohman ohman its michael schumacher!! ahhhhhh! please let him pass all his medical tests! okay i cant take it anymore, im so excited for my dearest SCHUMI((:

LLJ;
9:39 AM;

GET WELL SOON FELIPE MASSA
my prayers are with you

this weekend's hungarian grand prix was no doubt overshadowed by massa's freak accident, which goes to show again fast cars come with their dangers. really sad what happened to massa, hope he gets well soon cos he's gonna be a dad! pity too, since judging by the pace of kimi raikkonen's ferrari, he could have potentially done very well at the race, catch up in the championship title esp with the perforamnce of the front runners brawn and redbull at the hungaroring. my heart goes out to you felipe massa, sorry for what happened.

speaking of that accident, how can a bloody spring weigh one whole kg, how can it be blown from (four seconds x 100+kmh) away to hit him exactly on the head, and how on earth can it break through all the carbon fibre of the helmet?? humph.

sad news for ferrari but at least it was a good drive by kimi raikkonen to finish second from 7th on the starting grid. no mistakes as far as i could see, except for the delay at his second pit stop. not sure what happened, lapse of concentration? dont know.

the race was won really at the start, hamilton and raikkonen stormed off the start with their kers button although he did meet with abit of traffic. then it was with the help of alonso's retirement and mistake at webber's 1st pitstop that pushed him up to second place. aft that the race went on without much trouble. i must say good pace especially drg the first two stints. kudos to ferrari too! second place is still a good result, and realistically speaking, there wasnt much chance of overtaking hamilton, esp aft that 2nd pitstop. with that delay of about 3 seconds, and the performance of the hard compound tyres. ohwell.

yeah yeah so hamilton's drive was flawless but kimi's was nearly too lah. (omg, btw did you see nicole pcd in the garage lol!)

it's a bit sad what happened to alonso too. aft finally making it to pole position.. and if he does get suspended for the loose tyre and misses the next grand prix..his home grand prix!

but yepp, you know who im supporting. heh. whats gonna happen to massa's spot now? ahhh i hope things work out for them and they continue to improve! and i hope massa doesnt suffer any serious permanent damage to his brain or eye or whatever((:

LLJ;
8:28 PM;

Ballet under the stars
(yes, the stars and not the stairs)

i texted lauretta that i was going for ballet under the stars and she thought it was a typo, that i meant ballet under the stairs. which, come to think of it, makes alot less sense. then her dad said it was just codeword for meeting my boyfriend under the stairs. which is like, really odd, no? lol((:

BUTS was good. dancing was awesome, the ambience, not so. i know it sounds romantic and all, watching graceful and pretty classical ballet, having a picnic under the night sky, laying down on picnic mats... yeah right. first and foremost, there were no stars. (there are never any stars) it was so crowded and hot, it was a huge mass of people squeezed onto that field, i tell you. and SOME people just had to be spoilspots and put the blame on the teenagers. everyone wants to get a good view la, deal with it. seeing as you were older, you should've been more civilised and been gracious about it. damnit we offered you our spot pls? Anw, i kinda think many of the young kids there didnt really appreciate the performances, they were just there for the gimmick. nice picnic with some entertainment.

pity, cos the dancing was BEAUTIFUL((: even some of the preshow items were really good. shanice was just amazing! (on top of being so cute)phoebe and joy too. the actual show was awesome also la! love classical ballet((: i admire those dancers who can dance on pointe for such a long piece and still look like its so effortless. and the guys who jump as thought theres some invisible force lifting them up.

ahh well, as is aft every ballet concert i attend, i wanna get back to dancing ballet again. i know i've said that grade 8 will be my last, that i won't continue dancing under anyone else but mrs lim. but i cant seem to get closure. i played around with the thought many times now. i love it and i miss it. and anw, i think it might be good for my fats. (hehe) met joni there as well and i hope we can really go for her killer classes soon, while i can still try to squeeze into my leotards!

LLJ;
4:47 PM;

yesterday sef passed me a present to pass to julynn. would only see her aft school so i carried it ard with me. and stupid me, got distracted by the THICK booklet of chemistry papers i received that i left it in the science lab. continued with lecture then headed to parkway parade which was when py asked me, where's the present? AHHH!

mad panic. so the plan was to call julynn to go retrieve her pressie, but i couldnt call her and anw she left sch alr. die.. got hs to call jr to help me find it. and kind soul he was, went thru all the effort to search in the lab, lt and general office. no sign of it.. at this point i was really worried and cursing myself alr.

guilty so i went back to check for myself. went to the lab, and yes it wasnt there AHHHH. i prayed on the way for God to calm my heart and help me find it. as always he answered my prayers and the it was with one of the lab techs. omg, luckily, i would have been soooo sorry if i misplaced sef's present which he entrusted to me lol.

God works in a million little ways. he's always faithful and his mercies are new every morning. he's always there for me and is ready to work miracles anytime, even on the most trivial of things! whenever in doubt, stress, anger, sadness, despair, no hope, just turn to him and he'll be there!((:

LLJ;
11:32 AM;

i can't wait for ferrari to get back to winning ways again. a third place last night and frequent glimpses of schumi in the pit lane were enough to remind me of the good old days, where i would stand when they played the german and italian national anthem for the glorious michael schumacher and know the exact tune.

the title might be out of reach this season unless we can find a sudden burst of speed and technical intelligence. someone smart calculating pit/ fuel strategies. they need to find their reliability too. kimi's retirement was disappointing, he would have scored some decent points if he hung in there. but anw, it was a hard fought and well deserved podium finish for massa. first of the season! did really well to stay in front of the likes of barrichello and vettel drg his 2nd/1st stints, despite having an obviously slower car. he used his "special button" well lol.

good job to the team, one of the few times this season with no obvious mistakes pit wise and strategy wise. it was the other teams mistakes. worked out well for them. well, of cos with the exception of kimi's mechanical failure.

it's worrying but i believe they'll survive. til then i'll wait for the prancing horse to get back to their victorious ways, the scarlet red cars to dominate the tracks again.

LLJ;
2:59 PM;

HEHE i just read Adam Lambert's rolling stones interview woohoo! if you havent already done so, and you're not anti-adam i'd advise you to go read it as well! you'll be taken aback(in a good way) by his openess. he speaks bout his past and his sexuality with such boldness and without shame. and he says what he thinks, not worrying bout what people are gonna say its refreshing, you dont get celebrities like that. enjoyable article, no doubt!

i especially like the part where he talks abt kris HAHA! how when they got put in the same room he was like, oh no they put me with the cute one..distracting! he describes him as "nice, nonchalant, pretty, and totally my type" LOL ttm! yeah, but obviously he's married and 100% straight, so too bad for adam. HAHA both of them are so cute!

so obsessed with adam and his gay self now. i think i have this thing for gay men, honestly. there's adam, clay aiken, that brothers and sisters character, the swimmer, reiken and chip(amazing race, long time ago), wentworth miller.. its a certain affinity, gay couples are sweet haha. (btw i saw his kissing pics too!) too bad for us they're gay..

anw, im listening to adam and kris on youtube now. the internet is amazing, the things you can do and find heh heh..

cant seem to write well these few days, sorry for the not up to standard posts! hope i snap out of this soon.

LLJ;
4:16 PM;

I don't know you, but I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me, and always fool me
And I can't react

Games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat
And point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice
You had a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me, and erase me
And I'm painted black

You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat
And point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice
You had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly
Sing your melody
I'll sing it loud

LLJ;
6:17 PM;

LLJ;
5:03 PM;

Fat and fatter

celebrated peiying's eighteenth on friday. rushing to write her card in the toilet while they told her that i changed into my pe attire and was changing back again lol. we got her a pretty pink short sexy skirt, a necklace and a fan, hope she likes it!

took pictures in the canteen!
aft school, peiying, andrea, kailing, pris, huishan and i rushed to parkway swensens to make it in time for the one for one lunch! made it in this time abt 130+ unlike our previous attempt when the queue was too long. lots of delicious food((: had the banana crumble pan thing soooo good and deadly sinful. by then it was almost 230 and we got the student deal 9.80 for two sundaes! knowing me the cheapo-bargain-hunter-love-to-cheat-people's-money, i was super excited to have "cheated"(not really) their money lol. very full and satisfied and happy aft that plus we only payed twelve bucks for our very scrumptious meal((: we should do it again..
hope you enjoyed yourself peiying dearest! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! hope you had a good one. you dont knw how thankful i am to have you around, LOVE YOU((:

got home to change and went out to meet nic to catch Anna Karenina by the finnish ballet at the esplanade! saw some vj ppl at citylink but they didnt see us haha. sent a frantic, excited sms to kailing, which i think i should stop doing so often(sorry!) lol.
ANW, the ballet was abt Anna who's in a loveless marriage. she falls for this other guy but she loves her son too much so she returns to them. and then that guy tries to commit suicide cos she left him. and cut the story short, Anna loses her son, her guy and finally her life as well. at least thats what i understood, haha got abit lost at times. but always feel like some high class socialite watching these kinda things((:
such a tragic ending though. funny thing, me, nic and nic's friend abigail, all of us wore red dresses. and apparently we're all single and have sad desperate love lives(lol). how apt in keeping with the theme of the show... anw the ballet and choreo was good. some were alot better than others and it showed. the set was stunning! amazing stuff complete with an actual train that moves on/off/around stage and that you can go in and out of, and beautiful backdrops. much too often i didnt know what was going on but ohwell im not the lit type, enjoyed myself either way! THANKS NIC!
walked ard esplanade a bit super romantic. the three of us wear red dress somemore..

yesterday was DANCE HANDOVER, and it was soooo AWESOME AND GLAM AND TOTALLY COOL. thanks juniors! it's seriously like the best handover in all of vj. haha, jealous?
had this amazing race kinda thing first around city hall, vt, merlion and all, quite fun luh my group came in first! cabbed to tanah merah country club which is the secret destination that we all alr knew abt. haha, they place is super nice ttm! even the toilets were spacious and had towels and hairdryers and all. had a nice bath haha((: the juniors all dressed up so pretty and formal and NO ONE TOLD US WE WERE SUPPOSED TO LOOK SO NICE! yeah so abit under dressed. lots of food and i ate like crap! touching and funny videos, handing over, zi high dancing karaoke and taking pics like mad...
yay i love dance club and the dancers. at the end of everything, i think its you guys who've made this journey worth it. all the hard work and time spent and all the times i complained, really dont mean anything to me anymore. im so glad to be part of such an amazing team. and to have such great juniors who are so nice to us! even though we have not spent much time tgt, and although we may have had our doubts at the beginning. i've seen how much passion yall have for the club, it may be tough now but its a short time you'll spend here so just enjoy it you'll have no regrets at the end. thanks so much for an awesome handover, i wished it had gone on for the rest of the night and never ended. Shan and the exco, look aft the club well alright((: jiayou!

ok long post, shall blog again tmmr!

LLJ;
7:59 PM;

slacking with andrea in the com lab while we wait for H3 to start. in the long time that we've been here, i've checked my email, changed my blogskin and done many silly quizzes on facebook. awesome! btw, i think this skin is much more apt than the previous one, no? it's so much more representative of my life.

didnt bother with the champions league final last night, cos personally i was only interested in one player. didnt want to be like those who watch the whole match for one man. yeah..if i had my way neither of them would have won it HAHA. nonetheless im pleased with the way it turned out and extremely happy for Thierry Henry! who finally broke the deadlock and won himself a championship final, after his disappointing finals with arsenal and france 2years ago. haha, he's my first love, and i've been faithful all these years(heh).. havent watched any of the highlights yet so dont really know how the match went.

nothing much going on in school. tomorrow's the last day, and then its the june holidays, which means a whole 4weeks of mugging(i hope). and which also means its time for the great Singapore sale! but as of now my wallet has $1.15, so wont be giving away money any oh how. shall be more prudent in my spending, like the singapore government.(or was it the US..econs heh)

admittedly, i've been emo-ing today/yesterday about something someone somehow somewhere. telling nic bout it while she tells me bout her woes and what not. but its so silly, i now realise. to get so caught up and upset in something that actually makes/made you so cheerful. shouldnt meddle with these things, if it works out for you then so be it! you should enjoy it right? ok, trying to act mature and my age over here. lol! so yup, it helps to remind yourself now and then.

Last day of a very EVENTFUL and overall GOOD term 2 tomorrow! hope it'll be a HAPPY one!

LLJ;
3:54 PM;

okay! so im gonna see diane, debbie and taiyi this sunday provided they dont all pangseh last minute. really hope they come((: and then im gonna meet celine to watch wolverine, eat and SHOP til we drop! excited((:

just found out today drg phy lect that we have to do our syf piece for musicfest THIS FRIDAY! its like such short notice, i feel so unfit and the dance is so unpolished and im pretty sure we're all quite rusty from our (or at least mine)non stop eating since syf!! gonna look so fat on stage omg! hope i can still fit into the costume..

i really hope this swine flu thing subsides, and that we don't get affected. kinda scary how these thing always happen during years when we have major exams. i have the awesome job of nagging the class to take their temperatures twice daily, starting to sound like such a nagging auntie or whatever. brought toilet paper for them to wipe their thermomethers somemore! haha, but on some days, it does have its advantages...(*cheeky smile)hehe

**really anxious for tonight, hope they're up for it and put up their bestest fight, them young guns((: all the way!!

LLJ;
3:51 PM;

ergh i need to change this blogskin..

it occured to me yesterday that in slightly less than two weeks time i'd turn 18 and then i'd never be 17 again. wont be super cute like zac efron(not that i am now anw but still..) and you're supposed to be having fun while you're 17 right? its been a good year no doubt but sometimes you're a little wistful that nothing more has happened out of your life. ohman turning 18 aint all that great, sure you drink drive and club but then it makes you sound so old and mature, like "oh, im eighteen years old". im so tempted to do smth crazy and childish and embarrassing so that i can at least look at it and say, ahwell i was only seventeen back then.. lets see, what?

LLJ;
2:39 PM;

Million years since i've blogged ehh?
not gonna bore you with minute details of my very boring life, honestly, im too lazy anyways.

one paragraph to sum up what im feeling now:
kinda sad going to school. i miss my friends. i miss going out. so many things i wanna do that i can't. constantly living in fear of certain people, very careful not to cross any lines. keeping distances to avoid getting hurt. dance/syf/dance/dance/dance/dance. do this do that. an OKAY ballet exam that could've gone better. cts that were good in the good areas yet extremely bad in the bad parts. yet clinging on to whatever optimism and hope that's left inside of me.

LLJ;
10:42 PM;

A special valentines' day greeting to my SINGLE LADIES out there. there's no shame in spending this day alone((: LOL!

to DIANE DEBBIE AND TAIYI! til the day we guys finally meet someone that meets all our expectations, let's remain single and happy and just complain bout them la huh? hehe((:

CELINE! haha yay we make each other feel and LOOK loved right! (with our flowers hahaha)

today was a fun day, in some ways better and in other ways not as ood as last years. thinking about last year fills me with regret. but cant do anything to make things right huh. hold on to whats left!

lots of gifts and fattening food omg! oh and i must say this ANDREA YEO you ahh make me shy only! tsk. so basically ntg special. sweat(ed) super much cos of PE, hot weather, dance! damn gross.

just wanted to say thanks for the LOVE people!
i loove you((:

LLJ;
9:55 PM;

today must be my lucky day or something..

two of my crushes who i used to like came to talk to me, like all of a sudden! and it's not just the hi/goodbye/see you in the corridor kind. they came and started talking to me lol. i never used to talk to them at all okay, other than plesantries in the hallway haha! strange right.. kinda cool too((: normally, that would make me a very happy person but im abit over the whole crush thing. my happiness merely extends to a smile. haha my emotions are under control! im growing((: hehe

ANW! wahlao talk about being lucky.. just when i thought it was gonna be a good day, this ...teacher(not good to scold them) caught me for my skirt during spotcheck. like wth my skirt is so freaking ass long, even by my mum's standards. cant even count how many girls have skirts shorter than me la. whats with the DOUBLE STANDARDS? make me stand in front of the parade sq somemore, throw face pls. the two male tchers who i shd not name did not say my skirt was short when i asked them la! but they couldnt say it was okay either, cos alr kena caught abit malu for that tcher if they go back on her word right.. tsk all the female tchers came to her support anw. my friends were kinda surprised, cos really, if you could see, you'd knw my skirt is LONG. not even normal, it's LONG. humph, made me so angry. wahlao so now im abit fat, my butt abit ciao so the back abit shorter la. its still longer than ALOT of other people okay! i showed mum and she said not to bother so there.

lots of good and bad things happened. i guess they balance each other out or smth.

on another note, lauretta claire john has gone home to perth! no more going out and talking crap and hanging out with her anymore)): come back after A's babe!

lauretta you better see this!

attended scholarship talk just now. waited super long. i paraded my short skirt, sewed my ballet shoes discretely and talked to kenickie while waiting. kenickie is nice to talk to((: anw, talk bout scholarships and uni and all is super scaryand foreign to me. i dont know what i wanna do and i dont have no clear vision or whatever abt my intersts, and haha i dont think i carry myself very well. ahh i shd really start working harder like mummy says. hope God will lead me and guide me in what to do((:

more photos from the new year

stupid act cute shot with my fav people!
celine dearest((:
seb and i look so sweet omg!
my fav dancers
cny with 08s66!

LLJ;
5:11 PM;

Lord we need your grace and mercy
we need to pray like never before
we need the power of the holy spirit
to open heaven's door
Spirit touch your church
stir the hearts of men
revive us Lord
with your passion once again
I want to care for others
like Jesus cares for me
let your rain fall upon me((:

(mum complains again..)

LLJ;
2:52 PM;

LLJ;
2:29 PM;

my favourite bald rocker dude CHRIS DAUGHTRY appeared on CSI:NY, as a musician suspect or smth and boy was he really good at it! i've watched it on youtube and he was really convincing and HOT!! omg! reminds me of the time i dragged rachel along to the heeren to see him for the autograph session and i was too stunned to say anything cos that bald head of his and okay, just his presence and looks were too overpowering they consumed me. and the time i was so upset i couldnt go for his concert cos it was at st james powerstation and i couldnt get tickets and anw i was underage, ended up watching on youtube instead:/ anw, im encouraging you guys to go check him out. theres a picture for you to drool at too((:


/you're making me behave a lil bit desperate

LLJ;
9:41 PM;

LLJ;
11:46 AM;

caught AUSTRALIA today, and seriously, it wasnt such a bad show. actually pretty good, i quite liked it! except the first part i was a lil confused with the thick aussie ascents. several unanswered questions, as is the case after most movies i watch, lol. can't wait to watch it again! go catch it seriously, dont bother how long it is, it was really good! it captured like so many emotions, and it was just a very very nice show, come to think of it. hugh jackman and nicole kidman, hot stuff man!

oh but we went to lido, and now i understand why people dont like going there. it was a horrible cinema, plus all the people watching were like aunties and uncles, many balding(not the kind that i like) and hair turning white. super run down and such a small screen. and it was a tad bit too soft, haha like the way the old people like it. the seats were all dogdy, plus the show bein abt the world war, made me feel i was in a cinema back in the seventies or eighties. hees, my mum kept scolding me for complaining.

new years eve tmmr!! i need to write out my new year resolutions lol

LLJ;
11:18 PM;

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!
May God's love be with you this festive season((:

i'm blogging not cos theres anything significant to blo about, but its the most sane thing to do considering all the other things i'm doing online right now. heh.

updates! met celine, preethi and rekha the other day! my favourite people, i miss them and i miss having them in class with me! we watched twilight and shopped, or rather tried on tons of clothes but didnt bu anything. had our half priced waffles. and we took loads of photos! seriously, i was quite exhausted after all that posing. either way, i love them!

been spending alot of time with cousins too! lauretta's here from australia, we caught nick and norah's infinite playlist, which is crap dunno how it got four stars. shopped at heeren! amazing stuff, so many things i wanna get, no money! watched angus thongs and perfect snogging with her and will which was much better! its so damn hilarious, and my goodness, the two HOT guys are reason enough to watch it. seriously, its an awesome show i wanna wtch it again! great songs too! and honestly, after watching AARON JOHNSON sing in the band, i feel like wearing skinnies and those band tshirts just like him. argh!

then we also went ICESKATING! like finally, someone to go with. lauretta, sebastian, william, and his friend shawn! who, like punched my arm when he saw me lol. they're all super pro and im the only noob who can't skate lah. im proud that i ONLY fell three times though. i think i also made lauretta fall, sorry! and they kept pulling me really really fast, and tried to make me fall! grrr!




also went to joni's place with xiaoxuan the other night. her other adult ballet class students were there. quite fun playing ballet games and eating. my dearest xx was hlarious omg!

AND hmm i think i've got a new crush omg. you knw how at one stage i kept coming online to check out a4's profile and sites and videos. AHH im stalking someone else now oh no! kinda hot haha. i guess it explains my facebook staus and my msn nick. damnit, think im mad! i shall not go into specifics cos thats gonna be quite embarrassing. so thats it for now!

haha and right now, im watching videos of my new fav show, brothers and sisters. GAY ones omg! of kevin, its just really really sweet and cute. plus singapore doesnt show the kissing bits lol.

OKAY. so bad guy crush and gay videos, can't get much crazier than this can you? hees.

LLJ;
2:43 PM;

OKAY i'm just blogging cos i know i havent been for a really long while.

just got back two days ago from chiangmai! nice short two/half day trip with family. lots of shopping/eating/sight-seeing/eating/shopping/quality time and yes you get the idea. thought i did quite alot of shopping, but when i got back, it seemed quite little.. hmm, does that mean more room for somemore shopping? hehe i wonder. among other things, i got my nails painted and manicured! i wanted a really outrgeos colour, so now the're ELECTRIC BLUE! im serious. kinda like a witch/dracula/vampire, i dunno, one of those scary things. cool huh?

went for taiyi's dance concert last week. dance spectrum international, which for three years running have churned out amazing vj-dsa dancers who can do almost any/everything! lol. it was obvious who the STAR was la huh.. haha honored to be a GOOD FRIEND of hers hehe. taiyi was amazing! went there with debbie and diane. and among other j1 vj dancers, peehua and weian and hannahw were there too! ohman im really gonna miss the j2s! i read about ppl saying it and all, and im like, yeah yeah. but ohman! realised im actually quite close to them.

and i was just thinking, next year, peehua wont be there in my senior class standing next to me during assembly. and she wont comfort me and sit with me on the days i really can't stand my class. and we wont gossip and argh!, argh wont be there. and wei-an, he wont come and disturb us in the mrg when we're doing work even though he needs the work more than we do. and he wont bring me to do pull-ups so i wont fail my napfa, and he wont be there to comfort me and tell me that life ain't that bad when im really low and bumped out about school, and to cheer me up. and he wont be there, free as ever, with nothing to do, to keep me company. ARGHH HOW? what am i gonna do?

sighs. today was the last dance practice in school, which means i have to be EXTRA careful not to overeat like i have been for the past few weeks grrr. andy was sick again(poor thing). saw peiying, feels like a really long while hor. see la, never tell me bout her life and her secrets and all as usual! and i saw mrs koh! still quite cute((: i feel so lost touched with school, school work, classmates. seriously havent seen them in like, ages. guess im not really that close to anyone in particular anyway..

i need to work extra hard over what reamins of the holidays!((:
i will make sure i don't eat excessively over the holiday season! (even though relatives will be here and we'll celebrate like mad! im alr growing fatter and fatter it has to stop or it never will lols)
i need to do some holiday shopping!
i wanna watch nick and norah's infinite playlist, twilight, australia, she's just not that into you, angus thongs and perfect snogging, ok thats quite alot alr.
i can't wait to get back to ballet! woohoo!

i'll upload some photos next time, my eyelids are closing..

LLJ;
10:05 PM;

I'm sick. fever, cold, shivering, aching, sorethroat, yeah the usual.
just as work ended somemore, need to wait abit before enjoying hols again.
damn, i probably caught it from mum, debbie, someone from work or someone in dance.

URGH.
im aching from this thing that i've caught + i'm aching from andy's class
can't differentiate them but TOGETHER, you have a DOUBLE dose of aches UURRGGH!
its hard to sit down and climb the stairs and even walk.
i feel hot now, and my eyes are swollen.

well i prayed that the sickness would hold back until after this morning's dance, so guess im facing the consequences. didnt dance very well today, sorry.

i hope it subsides by tmmr. but mummy said if it doesnt, we wont go out, but we'll go borrow videos and eat at hongkong cafe nearby, which suits me just fine((:

okay, lots more stuff to do, provided i get better soon!

----
recently been coming online quite alot ahh. and nothing really to do. been looking at blogs, and facebook and all. damn STALKER, omg i have to stop. heh

LLJ;
8:14 PM;

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEBBIE! lauren loves you, can't wait to celebrate with you guys((:

SO, i survived one week of working for mr. prime minister! well, ok, not DIRECTLY for him. but i do help indirectly i hope. heh. that's why they call it the pmo right? basically been doing lots of reading and typing. its almost like extra-credit gp, reading articles on population/migration etc. ermm i guess its a good experience. after all the initial deliberation, anxiety, hope and excitement, im not sure if i regret taking up the internship. another week to go. and it's clashing with a lot of my committments in school. well, actually only dance laa.

im suddenly very ON about dance. school wise, actually wished i could attend all the conditioning, patrick's hip hop, andy's crazy classes, everything! arghhhh. guess it's cause i realised since friday's audition that i really have to buck up if i wanna keep up with the rest of the dancers. in every aspect. theres always this element of fear because i think i can't pull of the steps the way andy wants me too, which is kinda scary although, ok, as he claims, he's a nice guy. lol. but okay. i will buck up, for them as much as for me((:

and ballet! need to improve too! practised awhile this morning outside my house. my mum kept laughing at me and she said the neighbours would think im mad! what to do? thats the biggest open area, plus, can look at my reflection in the glass doors! haha but quite paiseh la. as the guy came round to collect rubbish i kinda stopped, cos, you knw, a bit awkward la. and he said Hi.. lols/

ytd i went for dance auditions for syf in the mrg. then went for work later. then at night went all the way to the other end of singapore! clementi. laura's house! haha. lauren laura lorraine and pee hua! and wei an came back later! had lots of fun at her beautiful place. we even climbed out the window and lay on the roof under the night sky, looking at the clouds((: quite a romantic place i must say. quite scary too when the tiles move as you step on them. there was nice food and nice cake and nice company! enjoyed myself((: HAPPY EIGHTEENTH LAURA((:

haha talked and talked until it was too late for me to take the mrt home, so cabbed, and it was like the most expensive cab fare ever! they stayed over at her place but i couldnt)): so yeah, missed out on the juicy gossips. had to leave just as they were getting started. WEIAN told me SHOCKING news abt someone just as the cab came around. and i was like DARN! AGAIN the story cannot continue! haha anw, the news is sure to shock and devastate two people out there, who MIGHT see this. quite hard to keep it to myself larh, so called diane to tell her an she was like, LIKE I CARE! lols got home and i wished deb on the dot at 00:00 hours!

well okay, thats about all for this week. busy busy.
AND IM ACHING NOW! WHYY AH? must be cos i havent been dancing for so long, even andy's very MILD class yesterday also cannot tahan. sighs.
and the whole thing about the A and 4 letters ah..haiyah. dunno what i want man. how?

LLJ;
5:23 PM;

whoo finally got some time off to blog again!
the past few days have been power-packed days i tell you!

ok saw this in someone's blog: one of the perks of being single is that you get plenty of time writing meaningless blog on your sad tragic love life and publicise to the whole world.
wahahawhawhaha, exactly what im gonna do now((:

just some highlights then/
last friday; spent a quiet day by myself which included a delicious subway meal. just to get my mind straight, gather my thoughts. met up with diane and debbie at night. ate pepper lunch at the food court cos diane was on a budget. dessert at delifrance. talked abt stuff, relationships(if you can even call them that) and what not. just thankful to have people like them. and DEBBIE, i love you for standing up for me, for using your strongest tool(ahaha your arguing) for me. i still cant bring myself to see it, but im touched. just knowing what you did makes me feel better((: hope it all works out for the three of us, and for taiyi too(LOL). but if not, we'll go on with the plan to hire the cute ang moh guy yeah? hehehe. love you guys((:

monday; watched HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL! haha it was soo awesome, even though admittedly i wasnt as excited initially as i was for the second one. and it was kinda cliched, i mean its a disney movie right.. but it was still really good the choreo and all! love seeing troy and gabriella together and how sweet they are, and it just made me think about how i dont have that or anything near that. how, right now, i wish so much that life would be like a high school musical. all the happy endings, no complications, problems that eventually work themselves out. and i wish a hot, charming zac efron would call me up to the rooftop to invite me to prom and to dance the waltz with me up there until it rains. (and then later have our clothes dry up almost immediately as we go back to class LOL) yeah, definitely some jealousy and longing there.

tues; conditioning again. not quite as good since i was still aching from ballet on sunday and conditioning the previous day. my muscles almost felt like they were gonna rip apart. went shopping for work clothes for my internship next week aft that. went for adrian's class at night. and he made us do the SAME exercise thing for your abs which i did that morning! GRRRR. good class though, i think adrian was feeling sexy or smth, from his choreo to what he was wearing, HAHA((:

wed; went "swimming"(well, i can't really swim) at celine's. sentosa cove((: then sushi buffet at sakae. ohman, i tell you im still so full from it now. her brother drove us out in his sports car(was it?). haha sitting in the front seat was quite an experience, given how fast he accelerates, lol! like holding on for dear life, heh. and in the evening, met DIANE to go for dance again! my last dance class at studio wu, i might add. or at least for now. andy's class. nice way to end my one month of classes at studio wu. it has been a $128.40 well spent((:
haha couldnt really catch the steps, dunno why. and omg, so malu, there was one part that i did super fast and he was like staring at me lol! but andy was super funny though, esp trying to sing the "honestly.. i believe.." part. hehe((:

dont think i can continue classes anymore)): next 2 weeks there's work. maybe holiday the week after. ballet's gonna be twice a week for exams. and dance in school's gonna get more intense. ahhh. and right now my legs need a well deserved break i think. but i do wanna continue going back there)):

the initial excitement abt EYECandy has died down i think. no more searching for his videos online. no longer an obssession. seeing him yesterday, there were no feelings. no excitement. at some point it might even have been dislike. haha i said it'd be over on wednesday. i wasnt sad, or disappointed. but then when i think abt it, i kinda find myself not wanting to let go. wanting to continue. like when i think abt him smiling and waving goodbye((: haha. and all the silly things he does. and how he looked at you. whats worse is that i dont even know what i expect out of this. you know ultimately, all its ever gonna be is a crush that one day youll look back on and laugh at. i think i need time. you'll be a memory. a good one((:

told you it'd be a meaningless post abt my sad tragic lovelife right? lol.




some pictures from yesterday

and listen to this.
dont bother watching it. just listten, such a nice emo song. i like.
haha been hooked ever since andy used it for his choreo. whooo!

LLJ;
12:31 PM;

i need a drink.

CHEERS, to the end of PW. and effectively, the official end of my school year! its been one heck of a year, and all i can say is that im trying, to make it better, to make me better. bare with me((:
pw went alright, with no major slip ups from what i saw. hope i didnt stumble too much though. thought my pwmates did well too! really glad to have had worked with you guys! for now though, its a much needed closure to a subject that swayed so many different ways. off (wii) go! heh.


CHEERS, to our ballet results! dont really know how the rest did, but i think i did fair enough, considering. joni thinks that for my standard i shd have gotten a 78, but i fell short of that 3 marks. lol. luckily still made it for a distinction((: congrats to zifang who got sooo high! im satisfied. know im not your typical ballerina. im not built like one, yeah yeah if you know me you'd knw what i mean. seriously. dont have the physique, the posture, and that natural technicality. haha but its okay! it is an improvement of ten marks from my previous majors. more mature now i think. lol. xiao xuan! lets jiayou for grade 8 okay! my two beloved partners below!((:


CHEERS to Felipe Massa for a job well done! although you didnt win, i thought you gave it a good shot. my heart goes out to all the ferrari guys for the epic defeat, but kudos for the hard work, for not giving up, we almost made it happen..again! must admit, i do miss the days of michael schumacher and ross brawn, when (almost) everything ran like clockwork, everything was spot-on, strategies calculated to perfection. many slip ups this season that should have been avoided. but ohwell, i continue to support the prancing horse!

CHEERS to d&d(dinner and dance) with diane! went for andy's class with diane yesterday. and she claims to have learnt the same choreo four times. at least it's a nice song and a nice person teching yeah? lol havent seen her in ages!! had dinner had hong kong cafe aft that. looking for hiphop stuff but didnt find. cant wait to meet her and debbie tmr to have a good and nice chat((: love you guys omg!!!





CHEERS to bridge! its made our class an oficial gambling dent. everyone's playing it lol. anytime, anywhere. 16 of us had lunch at hong kong cafe the other day and we ALL started playing lol. really cool sight. played today at the food court at parkway too. and aft op outside the science labs. and while we were rehearsing for op. and really just whenevver we're free(or not) and wherever we wont get caught((: HEHE.

and CHEERS to this sore-ness and emptiness that im feeling right now. im gonna spend a day by myself tomorrow, i've decided. just feel abit jaded. like i cant be bothered, and dont have the mood for many things right now. thinking of EYECandy makes me sore, emotionless. ahhh i dont know.

CHEERS ANW((:

LLJ;
10:26 PM;

yoyoyo!
straigt to the point. last night, me and the dance peeps, 14 of us headed down to ST JAMES POWERHOUSE for DANZ WAR! no, we did NOT sneak in.
well well, met for dinner first and on our way there, saw william! haha i think i was high alr, with all the anticipation and i kinda shouted out for him lol. sorry lahh. anw, it being our virgin attempt to a club, we were quite suaku, not really sure where to go and all. followed the crowds((: and the queue was so long! we didnt even know we had to queue and were just standing ard at first. hah. and when we finally got in, man it was sooo crowded. luckily, me julynn and peiying squeezed through to stand on the sofa, quite a good view from there.

err, so. it wasnt that big a deal going into a club aft you get past the initial excitement. furthermore the event was just so-so and that didnt help.. but i did enjoy myself((: WADE ROBSON was one of the judges! (the only credible one i feel) the dancing was quite good. some groups were really amazing and some were umm less. haha spotted adrian(studio wu) dancing up there, and i thought his group, dance wise was one of the best(maybe even THE best)! haha and yeahh he looked quite cute too((: quite liked the group in black as well. kudos to them all, but personally i wouldnt have picked the eventual winners as one of the better ones.

okayy..been keeping this part back this whole time. the highlight for me, apart from seeing wade robson and hearing his comments, was when SOUL performed! ohmann i think they did an awesome job! platinum did really well dancing too! yeahh really enjoyed the two of them, but okay, back to SOUL! yes, SOUL, the superband one. dont look at me like that, i DO enjoy chinese music sometimes okay. heh heh

SOUL! my first time seeing them perform, and i thought the singing and dancing were both great! awesome stuff man.(despite the accident lol) damn high watching them sing jing wu men(isit?). screaming like siao! but now i regret a lil not paying closer attention to their performance, starting to miss it alr)): tried to take pictures but they kept moving lol. awww, wish i could see them sing again though! and yes, i know you know that i really especially wanted to see ANDY! andy was so cool pls! he sings really really really good. haha he was all clad in the typical chinese boyband kinda wierdd clothes, with strange details everywhere, but boy, he still rocked the stage man! and i still thought he looked really awesome((:

after the thing we kinda hung ard the stage hoping to take some shots with them. they wanted to meet wade robson, and me.. well me too(HEH). peiying was helping me call andy out for a photo but he kept talking to those people inside, and all we could do was try to get a shot of him through the big crowd of people. evetually left cos they were chasing us out. it was kinda lame that we all had to leave and only those above 18 could re-enter. but ohwells.

saw adrain outside, dragged peiying to take photo with him too. lol. he cant rmb us but ohwell, only attended his class twice. hanging ard and looking out for a tall guy with blonde hair. starting walking off, and i was not sad although i would have liked to just say hi to andy haha. but i walked off satisfied, having alr seen them perform.

as luck would have it, there they were, the three of them, at the carpark! haha peiying was urging me on haha, plucked up the courage to ask him for a photo, and he said cannn. i think he was drinking apple juice? lol, smelled like la. anw he put his bottle in the plastic bag down. and so finally got a shot with him. and his phone was like vibrating in his pocket heh. he said he knew who i was, but yeahh.. not so sure bout that, he probably just didnt wanna hurt my feelings((: okay i told him he sang really well. and then we left, with me slightly more then satisfied aft that((:

haha okay. its a pity i always smile really badly and act really wierdly ard these kinda pple. like, that guy from rmun, and like when i met CHRIS DAUGHTRY. as such, the photo is really not tht great.

andy!
us and adrian
the man himself, wade robson
soul performing
adrain's group




*
told you i looked funny right..
gushed to diane, william and fangxiao abt it on my way back in the train.

my pm on msn is.. im proud to announce that this obsession is firmly under control. lols, py, diane, and xiaoxuan have all disagreed! but really i assure you, it is. i wasnt even that high last night. i could definitely have been alot worse okay!((:

LLJ;
2:47 PM;

first and foremost, im happy to say that... chinese is finally over! so the staying at home, studying this week, all that its OVER! hope it all goes well though! now left with PW, and i'll be completely free! (well, almost anw.)haha i was really really high and happy just now but its died down, unfortunately. back to feeling misearble now:/

okay okay i know i havent blogged in awhile but im really inspired to blog again after reading some blogs. with te recent hooha and obssession with you-know-who, this post shall be about dance((:

i think dancing at studio wu has reignited that passion for dancing in me. contrary to the impression i might have accidently immpressed upon all of you (heh due to the over anthusiastic-ness, i've been enjoying dance not only because of andy okay! although i do admit, i enjoy his classes the most! he's the funniest and nicest and just the coolest to learn from. plus he'll sing really nicely for you to dance to lol.
but yeah, back to the main point, think i've started to enjoy dancing and classes again which is a good thing((: dancing now again helps me forget everything else, the problems around me, it makes me happppy!!!

been dancing quite frequently recently. theres studio wu(which im gonna go for everyday next week lol), theres ballet, and then theres conditioning, patrick's hiphop and andy's class in school. back to being a full time dancer! oh and btw this andy is a different one! NOT andy lee. yeahh, anw if you didnt know, patrick and andy cai, our two new instructors at school! awesome stuff.

today alone, we had patrick's class for two hours then andy's for another two. starting to get used to patrick's style i think. didnt really like it at first, but ohwell you've got to experiment with diferent things right? andy's class was a killer as usual. he took part in the dance floor btw. haha, its crazy, your body is just pushed to the limit. my thighs felt sooo heavy i couldnt even do a grand battement. and we did eight minutes of crutches pls! plus lots of turns and some partner work. again, his style is really different too and i think i need to get used to it.

speaking of patrick, how cool is this.. he picked WADE ROBSON up from the airport yesterday and today he's gonna have dinner with him! superr coooool. i wanna go for danz war this saturday night errghhhh!!!

gonna be really upset once my one month pass at studio wu ends! dont think im gonna continue it cos theres the attachment, dance at sch, extra ballet for exams, plus all the holiday stuff. and im still contemplating the 15 classes thing, no money laaa. but that would mean.. no more andy's class! how? diane goes for his classes you know!

while we're on the andy thing, i think his "story" is really cool. i wonder why the "late bloomers" always turn out to be pros, while those that satrt from young mostly die off eventually.(like me) guess they have the passion. they actually dare to pursue it and they work hard at it and all. well yeahh, so andy.. really admire how he followed his dream, left his job to beicome an entertainer, to sing and dance and do what he loves best. really bold of him. deserves respect heh.

many of us just do whats practical, what pays. well, in my case, i dont even really know what i really love doing. dont really have a fixed, clear dream, dont really know what i wanna do. like that how? ntg to follow also. all the decisions i've made so far have just been like, ni shui xin zou. no clear direction, you knw?

haiyah, but in the meantime....
haha ME AND DIANE are future DANCING ACCOUTANTS! and we each love our EYECandy and BABYMILO! whoooots! i think we almost went siao these past few days talking about them. talked to her for 44min and 10sec. lol! cant wait to go dancing with her again, like old times((:
we're both damn sian now. i think its withdrawal, dont have them to "gei wo ni de ai" lol!

heh okayyyy, blog again soon!

LLJ;
10:34 PM;

haha okay forget what i said just now. i like hiphop sometimes, especially when ANDY's teaching it! HAHAHA! yeah he's really cool and friendly. and omg, damn shuai when he was singing with SOUL pls! whoots! damn high now((: haha new obsession, watching their videos on youtube, frm so long ago since diane's milubing. OMG> MELTS* cant wait to go for andy and yutaki dance class with diane!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAA! happiness((:

LLJ;
10:45 PM;

LLJ;
3:40 PM;

got my promo results back, all of them. think i did quite okay. either better or as bad as i expected, not worse, so thats something. gotta be thankful considering i could have done alot alot worst. but theres still room for improvement, particularly in GP and chinese. and econs, and actually all of them. chinese alevels less than a month away now! so thats it.

open house on saturday was kinda fun. i was abit sick and sneezing, but it kinda cleared up when we were gonna dance. did our year one item and must say i think i looked quite retarded in my costume. it was good, clean, good crowd and cheers though i think mostly it was frm vj ppl. did mass dance with the other dancers, and happened to see deb's jlo there!(you better appreciate the secrecy ahh) haha funny, saw him drg whiny whiny and immediately got taiyi to confirm. too bad you didnt come watch me dance deb, could have done the friendship dance with him haha!
well, among other highlights, i was my usual self and coped whatever frree stuff i could get, which included 3 coffees, 2 welcome packs, and an icecream! didnt see any pl girls but some familiar faces. ooh and the car and the simulator was pretty cool i guess. and the opening ceremony, they played the f1 tune, mr chan waved the chequered flag, mr fong sped past in the audi while menglu dressed all sexy like those grid girls. funny.

well, so sec4s, come to vj! its been a fun year. though many times i've had second thoughts, even til now. discounting all that its the best i can get i suppose. plus its been a somewhat good year nonetheless, close one eye.

last night saw some of william's sr friends, and duno if im prejudiced or what, but they look really cool, and it made me think we're actually such noobs. even at pl we were all guai and sheltered.

this one week of lessons is abit pointless if you ask me. grrr. hmmm, ntg much happened today. got back gp paper, lectures which were a waste of time. dance. oh and i ate so much today, it was as if i were pregnant. literally couldnt stop eating. so fat now, and im still hungry lol. there was the global challenge thing which we didnt win obviously. and weian went to tell leonard that i want to climb the rock wall omg! nooooo! so malu okayyyy weiiiiannnnn. but i do wanna rockclimb with deb((:

i've really been playing the piano and not trying but..
saw the 2* carbocation(lol WHAT) and he had his hair down, abit funny. my friend says he's been spending alot of time with this girl!
and the 1* carbocation! haha i know its becoming wayyy too obvious. haha like everyone knows omg! well, warm and fuzzy ahahah! hot hot, no doubt! *smiles

LLJ;
10:12 PM;

today was the last paper, chinese. im kinda afraid since this examination, i really didnt feel exam-like. my bad, hope it turns out alright though. i even feel abit like studying again now. okay, maybe not now, just soon, lol. headed off to parkway aft the paper to walk around before heading back for dance. we're preparing for open house this saturday. oh yes and met the guys while i was there. dancing was good, i have not sweat in so long.

gonna go out tmr shopping before dance, i need some retail therapy. unfortunately me shopping friend celine who's also itching to loosen those purse strings still has promos. that just means i'll have another day of shopping, with her! yeahh, but let me just say for the record that this time i will consider carefully before making any purchases. haha, yes yes i will.

it wont be fun and games for long though, pw and chinese coming up. sad, sad right?

this weeks a break from school apart from dance, which is a good thing. because like i told taiyi and peiying, right now, if i spend too much time with the class, i might end up turning lesbian. lol. okay a bit of over reacting which im sure will pass, but guess thats how i feel right now. so sick of it all. so done.

being in a mixed school for almost a year now, there are two opposing regions of thought. one, is that guys can be really nice, really good to talk to and to joke around with. really good company sometimes and enjoyable to be with. the gentlemenly ones and of cos the ones that make you all warm and fuzzy inside. and then there's the second, that somtimes they just put you off with their ways, so badly you can't imagine ever having to spend the rest of your life with any one guy. such is the pessimism that has recently consumed me, whether or not its just a phase.

okay, drama aside, i'll blog more often now so look forward to it. cant wait to go out, so whenever you people are free..

LLJ;
9:46 PM;

promos are coming up, study hard babes! all the best!
at present im not thinking of the day when proms end. but i've got a mental list of things to do after the promos, which im very sure will not be fully achieved because, bluntly put, life sucks sometimes. having to do stuff i really dont want to.

im in a really bad mood now. i wana meet celine, rekha, preethi, rachel, debbie and diane. now now now. show the love and get some in return. miss them to bits, grrr. tomorrow's celine's bday! whooop! dunno what shes gonna do, but i cant wait to go out with her to celebrate when we're free again! or shd i say free-er cos seriousy, when will we ever be free?

i don't know why i actually have a blog seeing as how im so anti-social. the scary part about it all is that, apart from what people might think of me. i actually dont mind. in fact, i like it sometimes, being alone and doing things myself. going out on my own and all. kinda loser-ish, i know. maybe its because people fail you sometimes. they become someone you dont want them to be. then maybe the fault lies within you, that you're so damn caught up with your ownselfish desires. maybe there just isnt anyone around you. i miss my friends. being anti social is one thing. it makes you knida lonely. like duh. i just feel like these past few day, maybe even weeks, or months, i've been so alone out there, no one really to talk to, no one who's just there. shutting out all these people around me and getting annoyed and all. argh! and surrounded by a groups of people who couldnt be any less immature and unchival and un-everything! GRRRR.

LLJ;
11:20 PM;

yes i know i havent been blogging in ages, i've been so busy, i dont know with what. havent even started studying yet.
nice to see that in my absence my two DARLINGS debbie and diane havent forgotten about me((: love you guys, catch up soon yes? "stranger" is very apt now, yes.
just finished my contributuion of the WR. kinda sucks, it takes up so much of your time, and it definitely doesnt help that even after your grp mates have done their share you've still gotta edit it. but yeah, i guess different people have different strengths and weaknesses.
the olympics are over and i dont know if i shd be sad or relieved. i think relieved more though, it was nice while it lasted. eating up too much of my time.. heh heh. my favourite national anthem is the RUSSIAN one. i've made up my mind. and not far behind are the french, german, spanish, italian ones. i very proudly can say that i knw the tune to each one of them and even more lol!
they showed the olympics on the plasma in the canteen at VJ. it was rally cool how so many people came down drg their breaks and (ahems)lectures to squeeze to catch a glimpse. especially when they showed michael phelps. the whole canteen was literally filled, and for that one minute or so, all heads were turned upward, all eyes squinting towards the screen, no one at all at the stalls, they were sompletely empty. quite a cool sight. haha, and yes, table tennis china vs singapore. could feel the tension amounting. we really do have a strong contingent of prcs eh? with relally high pitched screams haha. so we were cheering like crazy against each other. the majority came out disappointed, as expected.heh.

its gonna be a hectic next few weeks. i really need the time to get down to mugging, it's scary how EVERYONE is really starting to get serious abt their work and you havent really started.
i've got a ballet exam coming up too! i'm excited but yes, scared! ahhh, pressure.
i just feel like the thigs are gonna pile up and im gonna crumple beneath its weight. like im drowning, asphyxiated. going to anyway..
i just really need God's presence. been feeling almost disconnected and lost for quite some time now..just pray that he'll brg me through it all, that i'll do it the way he wants me to. sow to the spirit not to my sinful desires((: learnt that on sunday.
guess with this "reputation" of mine, in class anw, i really don't wanna be like that.

otherwise, all else is fine. heh, been getting my dose of eye candy hehe. essp today when the girls specially saved me a seat at a strategic location haha!
i'll try to blog more often, see how it goes!

LLJ;
8:56 PM;

this is so awesome, i wish i coulddance just half as good as her.
okay, to think that i can't even perfect my double pirouttes when she can do eight..




and check this out, its my current favourite song! the lead singers quite cute, i didnt know..

LLJ;
3:16 PM;

well well, its been one heck of a week.
i've just been so busy lately. or not exactly busy, i just have so many things to do that i don't know where to start, and end up doing nothing. i feel the pressure pressing against me, my heart's heavy(my eyelids too), it suffocates.
the work's piling up, the schedule too, more lessons, remedial, make up lessons, dance. everything's just so packed, i cant find the time for anything else. (PW, not to mention)
people are changing. it's really starting to get tough out there, really makes you wonder if you'r doing enough or not.
well, maybe its not that bad yet. i mean, i expect its gonna get way tougher, just gotta prepare myself for that.

it's been an interesting week.
on tuesday we had the talk. no, not that talk, that talk. haha about our results. abysmal results to be exact. what we're doing with our lives, what we're doing at VJ. scary how after these two fully packed years we're gonna go our seperate ways.

and on wednesday we had the VJ careers fair! yeahh it was awesome mostly because i was so high going ard the booths. it was an eye opening experience, not to mention an opportunity to collect free stuff! haha i took so many things, people were staring at me. heh, my friends all made fun of me. mr tan asked if i went shopping. went for the MAS talk. mas is cool, no? and followed kenickie to the SPF talk, which was really interesting although i have no intention of joining the police whatsoever. policemen are way cooler than bankers lol. would have gone for the finance forum except i had to go home to change and get ready for SAJC dnace concert, RAPTURE!
oh man it was AWESOME. firstly because i met sooo many people there! renee head prefect, clarice luo, jacintha, ben from cell, rachel lim, quite a few VJ people, and some pl lites whom i dont really remember the names of! the dancing was great. i WOULD HAVE almost been up there dancing with them too(yes i always wanted to go there last time haha). it was abit too emo at times but mostly good. they've got good hip hop, and energy. guest performances were soo great too! i miss our concert argh.

thats about all that was worth mentioning.

as of last week i decided that ignorance is bliss. it's working. i dont wanna know.

and as of today, i've decided to go back to debbie's advice and stop trying. working too!

i have an urge to upload barcelona pics on facebook ahhh!

there's a cute taiwanese exchange student in my school!

been spending more time at the library these days, i love it! kill THREE birds with one stone HEH HEH

okay okay, bye!

LLJ;
9:00 PM;

okay, the once in four years PL musical was SO AWESOME! it was really reaal good, you missed a spectacular show if you werent there.






much better than the previous one which i was in. the props and backdrop thing was way better, costumes were soo nice, unlike mine which i had to sew myself, more interesting storyline i think, better acting, better actors. it was soo great!


met up with class people first. haha i saw quite a few people! realised i dont really know a lot of people huh. we had front row seats! middle somemore. yeah i could see every single detail very very clearly.


my fathers gift revolves around the isrealites who continue their search for the promise land. (haha yes i was looking for the promise land four years ago too) but first they've gotta get past jericho, which wont be that easy la. alot of it was super hilarious, especially that cute little girl haha! she gonna be one of those that lots of people have crushes on lol. and the king! haha and BAOyun! she was so cute down there, gonna get burnt! and it was super funny when the backstage people came to change scenes. haha, dunno why also. think i talked super loudly to preethi throughout the whole thing haha! enjoyed myself ery very much!((:


so saw alot of people, seniors, juniors, peers.. and melissa and her boyfriend HAHAHA! miss loh!(beloved) mrs judy wong!


and it made me remember the last time, the father's hand that i was in lol. they showed snippets of it before the show started. ohman so funny! i looked so funny with my hair, and ohman we all agreed i was soooo much skinnier back then. dont know how to put the video in but here's a photo!

ooh i saw her there too btw, eleanor's sister!

ok, till now miss loh still remembers when the bad crowd threw me to the floor(it did hurt haha) and i had to shout 'save me!' and apparently, it was really soft and shy. and they were like all trying to get me to scream louder. plus i was the father or something so i had to bemuch fiercer. but then, according to her, on the day itself it was so loud and ferocious and convincing. lol, she still tells my mother the same thing when she sees us okay, so paiseh!

ok, and the time when we were recording for the cd, thechildren's song. nuisance, disturbing people. annd miss loh called me out, and i thought i would be in trouble. then she said, later when the children are singing go sing with them cos your voice is very immature. haha what?! funny right.

okay, i've got some photos, not that clear. took with my phone cos the camera's spoilt! grrr. will get more from rekha and post on facebook or sth.

i <3 these people. there's a heart outside the bio lab! complete with a aorta, pulmonary artery, ventricles and atria!



preethi!

remember this?
he lifts you high, he'll never let you go
he gently holds, your precious soul
he lifts you high, and in his ove you'll stand
because your holding the father's hand


heh. maybe i'll go find the full lyrics
ok that's all for now, is gonna be a packed week ahead, im very sure.




























uiu

LLJ;
9:01 PM;